Bitzaro Palace hotel, Zakynthos. July 21 to August 4 2008

The Bitzaro Palace Hotel (BPH) is literally only a 10 min bus ride from the airport, and situated at the end of a short road off the main Kalamaki "strip" - ancient and traditional Greece Kalamaki isn't with the strip boasting numerous bars, restaurants, karaoke nightly and big screen football and inevitable "tat" shops. There's also a few car hire/moped/quad bike rental places. A couple of the restaurants looked pretty good and were always busy - usually a good sign.

However, you're 5-10 min walk away from all this at the BPH, stuck away at the end of a road adjacent to two other hotels, the Roseland and the BPH's bigger and brasher sister the Bitzaro Grand.

At 90 odd rooms the BPH isn't that big. All the staff are friendly, especially barman Panos who was a great bloke. Rooms are (thankfully) air conditioned (it was mid high 30's when were there). The 2/3 bed rooms are functional. Ours had a TV with a couple of English channels including Sky News, though we hardly turned it on – we weren’t there for the telly. We also had a kettle and coffee and a fridge at no extra cost. The bath though was tiny - a real knees under the chin job. The room was cleaned daily.

The mini golf course mentioned in the hotel blurb has seen better days and wasn't actually in use and the pool table was tucked away in a corner with a tear in the cloth, but was in otherwise working order until the day before our last day when the last usable cue lost it’s tip.

The pool though was great. Possibly boasting the deepest "deep end" we've seen in a holiday hotel at almost 9.5 ft at one point, it shallowed to about 4ft at the other end. There was also a very small toddlers pool. There was also a small children's play area with swings and a climbing frame.

This isn't generally a hotel for families who can't make their own entertainment - apart from what I've mentioned, that's it though occasionally a girl appeared to run a killer pool or boules sessions (and mainly it was kids who were the takers). Evening entertainment was similarly random and low key. A quiz one night and bingo another with often only 6-8 people taking part, although one night the bingo prize did get up to 50 euros!

Generally there was no rush for sunbeds we've seen elsewhere on our travels, although it did get much busier during our second week, but rarely were their more than about half a dozen people in the pool - and then it was mostly our kids! In fact we often wondered where all the other guests went all day so quiet was the place, especially the first week.

We stayed half board. Breakfasts were a combination of continental (bread, cheese, ham, fruit and cakes) and what passes for a full English - you must remember this isn't Britain though. The extra strong filter coffee from the machine gave a great kick start each morning. Dinner was four courses (if you wanted or could manage it!) - soup followed by a wide salad selection, a choice of two to four mains and a choice of fresh fruit, ice cream or jelly for pudding. The quality of the food was very good, but be warned – we onkly saw chips on the menu twice and there’s no chicken nuggets etc. here for kids (or less discerning adults).

At lunchtimes though the bar served a wide variety of snacks from toasties to burgers and pizzas (and chicken nuggets and chips) from about 4 Euros upwards. Beer on tap was €3 a pint or the same for a bottle of Amstel, Mythos etc. Soft drinks also were priced at €3 a pop (sic) which is a little pricey.

The beach was a good 10 minute walk down a road past rubbish bins (which nysteriouly disappeared after a few days never to return) and a couple of very small "mini-markets" selling snacks, drinks, various other produce and beach gear and UK papers (though not until the afternoon). The beach itself is narrow and sandy and you have to go nearer the water edge to avoid the loggerhead turtle nest sites which are well marked and this "rule" is well patrolled by an army of volunteers. Because of the turtles you're also not allowed on the beach after dusk. The water is shallow, shelving only slightly and is sandy as far out as you can swim. Very clear for snorkelling but frankly there’s not much to see!

Because of the proximity to the airport you can hear, even see planes taking off and landing, but to be fair we didn't find it intrusive because there aren't that many and it was fun watching planes coming in low over the beach to land. All the literature says there are no night flights (because of the turtles). In practice, this means no flights between 11pm and 5am – but as I said, we didn’t find it an issue.

We hired a car for a couple of days and if you've never been to Greece/Zakynthos before it's worth pointing out a couple of things.

• Roads are narrow
• Roads surfaces are generally appalling
• The white lines on the road are faded but few people actually take any notice of them anyway
• The main tourist areas are crowded with (mainly) young tourists on mopeds and quad bikes
• Locals are wont to overtake even if there's something coming the other way
• Signposts are often difficult to see and interpret (in the sense of which direction they are saying)

Having said all that we thoroughly enjoyed our time out in the car as it enables us to see the whole island at our own leisure. Well worth it.

Best Bits

• Seeing loggerhead turtles in their natural environment
• Keri Bay
• Seeing the famous "Smuggler's Cove" (from the viewpoint, though not for those afraid of heights)
• The weather
• The Bitzaro Palace
• The views from the hills

Worst Bits

• Laganas (all of it)
• Kalamki Strip
• The roads
• The more "popular" beaches that were overcrowded (not our sort of thing though it may be yours)